Oil Can Miseries
by Kat Lee formerly Pirate Turner
Summary: Even the most private and intimate of acts can be highly dangerous in the magical land of Oz. Slash.


Title: "Oil Can Miseries"  
Author: Pirate Turner  
Rating: R for sexual content  
Summary: Even the most private and intimate of acts can be highly dangerous in the magical land of Oz.  
Warnings: Slash; Threesome references; Established couples  
Disclaimer: The Scarecrow, Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, Dorothy, Toto, and Oz are & TM Frank L. Baum, not the author, and are used without permission. Everything else is & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

He struggled not to fidget too obviously as she kept looking behind them with every few feet. When she turned around to go back, he started to turn, but his foot slipped out from underneath him and he fell promptly into her path. She immediately stopped to help him up, but her face was full of concern as she gazed into his. "We've got to go back!" she cried. "They should have been here by now, Scarecrow!"

"I'm sure they're fine -- " His words broke off in shock and fear as a mighty roar filled with pain reverberated throughout the forest. His eyes nearly bulged out of his straw head. He plucked his arm quickly from Dorothy's grasp and started to run, as best and fast as he ever could for having legs made of straw, toward the sound when his beloved Lion roared again.

"THE OIL CAN!" the Cowardly Lion roared. "BRING THE OIL CAN!" His words ended in another savage roar of pain.

His words so stunned Dorothy that she stopped too quickly for Toto to stop in time. He slammed into her ankles, but even as she fell, Scarecrow took hardly any notice. He did not even look her way and, instead of helping her, he pounced on the items that were rolling over the yellow brick road from her dropped basket. He threw apples to the side, nearly hitting the girl who was now complaining of a twisted ankle many times, until he at last found the oil can.

"I'M COMING! I'M COMING!" he shouted as he ran toward where he had left the two beings who had become the most important creatures to him in the whole world. He prayed they heard him as Lion roared again and doubled his speed. His legs bounced this way and that, and he all but tripped over his feet as he ran toward the pain-filled roars.

Horror froze him in his tracks when he found them, and he winced at the sight. He had feared this would happen, and though he never, in a billion light years, would have wished it upon Lion, he was still secretly glad that it had not happened to him. "I told you we had best to make sure that he was fully oiled before either of us went off with him!"

The Cowardly Lion only howled in pain, and though the Tin Man was trying desperately to apologize, all that he could manage to get out was squeaks. Scarecrow ran forward and went straight to the target that was causing the Lion such immense pain that the Scarecrow could scarcely fathom just how much pain he must be in. He began squirting oil into the part that he could easily reach and slowly reached further in. He had to gently extract the metal from the sticky fur, oiling each piece as he edged it out and doing his best to overlook the Lion's roars of pain. He ached to ease his pain but knew that there was nothing else he could possibly do to help him right now.

He barely looked up when a shocked screech sounded behind him, and the loud Thud! accompanied by Toto's frantic barking assured him that Dorothy had done just as he had expected she would. The girl had fainted dead away at seeing him pulling the Tin Man out of the Lion. "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!" he murmured over and over again.

"OH DEAR, OH DEAR, OH DEAR, _**MY BUTT**_!!" the Lion roared, his words swiftly becoming lost in another pain-filled roar.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Scarecrow cried, "but how in Oz are we ever going to explain this to her?!"

"WORRY ABOUT THAT LATER!" Lion snapped between the howls that were now overpowering the roars. "GET HIM OUT OF ME _NOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW_!!"

Scarecrow still felt like chiding both the Cowardly Lion and Tin Man for being foolish enough to tryst without first checking Tin Man's oiled condition, but he knew that now was not the time. He harrumphed silently to himself. They'd see if he was ever foolish enough to let them do it again without him there to oversee the operation! Oh, if he'd only had a brain, this would never have happened!!

**The End**


End file.
